do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
