talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
