So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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