My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
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