I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
