That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Randomize
