I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
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He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.