I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Randomize
