Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
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random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
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He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I think I just shit out all my problems.