Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(618): View more from Illinois

lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...

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(618): lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again... http://tfl.nu/sndr

Replies (46) Good night (4189) Bad night (699)
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(214): View more from Texas

so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina

(214): View more from Texas

i got awkward and finally asked him what he said

(214): View more from Texas

he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it

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(214): so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina (214): i got awkward and finally asked him what he said (214): he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it http://tfl.nu/s46y

Replies (26) Good night (1061) Bad night (5165)
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(757): View more from Virginia

If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...

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(757): If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up... http://tfl.nu/b9ou

Replies (55) Good night (6219) Bad night (995)
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(408): View more from California

They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.

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(408): They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald. http://tfl.nu/krtp

Replies (21) Good night (8081) Bad night (1403)
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(517): View more from Michigan

woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.

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(517): woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner. http://tfl.nu/lvfr

Replies (13) Good night (2004) Bad night (4328)
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(845): View more from New York

I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.

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(845): I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey. http://tfl.nu/3eol

Replies (12) Good night (1243) Bad night (4072)
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(985): View more from Louisiana

I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day

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(985): I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day http://tfl.nu/t2zq

Replies (10) Good night (3493) Bad night (986)
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(307): View more from Wyoming

i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs

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(307): i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs http://tfl.nu/99qm

Replies (9) Good night (3400) Bad night (910)
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(+61): View more from Australia

How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.

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(+61): How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face. http://tfl.nu/d4p2

Replies (8) Good night (801) Bad night (1435)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"

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(781): he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me" http://tfl.nu/6fll

Replies (16) Good night (1649) Bad night (2743)
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(406): View more from Montana

You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.

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(406): You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior. http://tfl.nu/tu51

Replies (6) Good night (1600) Bad night (1306)
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(515): View more from Iowa

Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over

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(515): Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over http://tfl.nu/s97w

Replies (2) Good night (640) Bad night (436)
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(252): View more from North Carolina

We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.

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(252): We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day. http://tfl.nu/bkmj

Replies (2) Good night (923) Bad night (370)
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(585): View more from New York

this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile

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(585): this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile http://tfl.nu/57e7

Replies (0) Good night (667) Bad night (263)
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(317): View more from Indiana

I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.

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(317): I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%. http://tfl.nu/pc4l

Replies (1) Good night (551) Bad night (229)

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