Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(604): View more from British Columbia

just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.

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(517): View more from Michigan

my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.

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(302): View more from Delaware

Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.

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(+66): View more from Thailand

A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure

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25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Read it at the TFLN blog
(469): View more from Texas

She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.

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(719): View more from Colorado

He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."

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(541): View more from Oregon

I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy

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