Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(480): View more from Arizona

This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.

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(480): This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner. http://tfl.nu/bzec

Replies (9) Good night (3986) Bad night (823)
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(219): View more from Indiana

Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.

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(219): Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone. http://tfl.nu/2pnq

Replies (6) Good night (607) Bad night (4622)
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(702): View more from Nevada

As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?

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(702): As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation? http://tfl.nu/6nb1

Replies (16) Good night (7121) Bad night (1230)
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(773): View more from Illinois

Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.

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(773): Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat. http://tfl.nu/qnu6

Replies (31) Good night (4402) Bad night (5259)
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(847): View more from Illinois

The panties match.

(1-847): View more from Illinois

I'll be right there.

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(847): The panties match. (1-847): I'll be right there. http://tfl.nu/jbhz

Replies (35) Good night (5931) Bad night (1018)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar

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(570): I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar http://tfl.nu/q05v

Replies (11) Good night (977) Bad night (2528)
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(512): View more from Texas

Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.

(512): View more from Texas

Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.

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(512): Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college. (512): Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good. http://tfl.nu/chyc

Replies (10) Good night (1513) Bad night (964)
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(+32): View more from Belgium

we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump

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(+32): we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump http://tfl.nu/362x

Replies (4) Good night (894) Bad night (1187)
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(772): View more from Florida

we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life

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(772): we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life http://tfl.nu/tfqf

Replies (15) Good night (966) Bad night (395)
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(509): View more from Washington

The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.

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(509): The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift. http://tfl.nu/2o45

Replies (9) Good night (534) Bad night (1798)
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(440): View more from Ohio

Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie

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(440): Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie http://tfl.nu/g1ng

Replies (3) Good night (946) Bad night (631)
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(434): View more from Virginia

I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.

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(434): I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories. http://tfl.nu/op72

Replies (6) Good night (2127) Bad night (375)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know

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(908): We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know http://tfl.nu/8q22

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(469): View more from Texas

His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.

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(469): His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat. http://tfl.nu/3isl

Replies (5) Good night (304) Bad night (526)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.

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(919): There is an alarming amount of food in my bra. http://tfl.nu/bxub

Replies (0) Good night (383) Bad night (447)

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