Texts From Last Night

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  (772): View more from Florida

  I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.

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  (772): I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring. http://tfl.nu/9i68
  Replies (10) Good night (2335) Bad night (887)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.

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  (908): the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime. http://tfl.nu/3xvq
  Replies (22) Good night (2834) Bad night (861)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.

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  (206): Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is. http://tfl.nu/56s9
  Replies (83) Good night (9650) Bad night (1204)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.

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  (708): Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now. http://tfl.nu/4cfq
  Replies (55) Good night (7458) Bad night (1192)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.

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  (727): His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there. http://tfl.nu/9vdb
  Replies (6) Good night (1344) Bad night (2342)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.

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  (404): I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway. http://tfl.nu/geao
  Replies (10) Good night (2618) Bad night (3750)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".

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  (780): just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency". http://tfl.nu/5vs5
  Replies (7) Good night (3311) Bad night (811)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.

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  (808): Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you. http://tfl.nu/twhl
  Replies (3) Good night (927) Bad night (1153)
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  (916): View more from California

  I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.

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  (916): I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly. http://tfl.nu/j9zm
  Replies (2) Good night (1122) Bad night (602)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free

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  (708): And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free http://tfl.nu/lgkw
  Replies (4) Good night (1962) Bad night (597)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off

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  (318): I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off http://tfl.nu/iq1g
  Replies (2) Good night (982) Bad night (523)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often

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  (412): wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often http://tfl.nu/efwp
  Replies (2) Good night (729) Bad night (339)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.

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  (902): I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza. http://tfl.nu/8hbb
  Replies (2) Good night (372) Bad night (521)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works

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  (206): I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works http://tfl.nu/x0jm
  Replies (0) Good night (367) Bad night (398)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt

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  (860): I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt http://tfl.nu/f4bb
  Replies (3) Good night (180) Bad night (365)

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