so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
So here I am, sexting at work.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
