woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize