walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
