THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
