my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
