my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
