Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
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I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
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I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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