am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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