My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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