I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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