He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
being pregnant is like rehab
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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