she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
