Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
