the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
