yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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