I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Randomize
