My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
