so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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