Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
