are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
