Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
