he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Sext me about skeletons
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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