when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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