my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
