she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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