that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
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