it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
