Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
