she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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