Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize