Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
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