i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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