420 ftw
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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