he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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