Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
