is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize