You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
