Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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