I wannas sexs uuuuu
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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