youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
