don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
