We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I will die if light touches me.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
