I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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