She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
