anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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