so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
