So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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