Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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