i permit you to call me
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
